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No Refunds

by The Jolly Rogers

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1.
Overture 08:48
2.
Santiano 02:00
Satiano gained the day Away! Santiano! Satiano gained the day Along the plains of Mexico... Mexico, oh Mexico Away! Satiano! Mexico is a place I know Along the plains of Mexico... Those yella galls I do adore Away! Santiano! With their shinin‟ eyes and their coal-black hair Along the plains of Mexico... Those yella galls they love me so Away! Santiano! Because I won‟t tell them all I know Along the plains of Mexico... Those Liverpool galls don‟t use no comb Away! Santiano! They comb their hair with a kipper backbone Along the plains of Mexico... When I was a young lad in me prime Away! Santiano! I knocked them scouse girls 5 at a time Along the plains of Mexico... The time‟s is hard and the wage is low Away! Santiano! It‟s time for us to roll and go Along the plains of Mexico...
3.
The pilot he looks out ahead With a hand in the chain, heaving on the lead, And the old man roars to wake the dead, Come and get yer oats, me son! Chorus (after each verse): Whup Jamboree, whup jamboree A long-tailed black man come up behind Whup Jamboree, whup jamboree Jenny get yer oats, me son Oh, now we pass the Lizard lights And the Start, me boys, will heave in sight. Soon we're abreast of the Isle of Wight, Come and get yer oats, me son! Oh when we get to the Blackwell Docks. Them pretty young girls come down in flocks, With their short-legged drawers and long-tailed frocks, Come and get yer oats, me son!
4.
We spent our youths upon a ship learning of the world But when we were loosed upon the dock it was all about the girls We were just young pirate lads all straight and strong and tall But of all the pirates on the sea women loved me best of all When I was but a wee pirate lad the ladies loved me so Cause on a sailing ship there’s one thing you need to know As sounder it was my job to keep the ship off of the reef When the need arose it was only I that could go so deep [CHORUS] The ladies they all loved me so when I was in my prime For I was in charge of the mooring ropes, it’s where I spent my time The mooring rope was thick and long and hung below my knees And all the girls they sighed because I handled it with ease [CHORUS] In my youth the ladies loved me, no one ever questioned why For I worked on the lower hold and never the riggin high While the monkeys spent their days aloft far above the ground The girls all watched in wonder as I was going down [CHORUS] Oh how the girls all loved me-the big brave sailor man They oohed and ahhed as I would haul upon the big capstan These other boys they came and went but I remained in play The girls soon knew it was me alone that could keep it up all day [CHORUS] The ladies they still love me, see I’m the gunner so to speak With so much firepower they can’t walk right for a week But because I am a gentleman I make sure they fire first And just as the screams are fading I let go my cannon’s burst [CHORUS]
5.
And a drop of Nelson‟s Blood wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a drop of Nelson‟s Blood wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a drop of Nelson‟s Blood wouldn‟t do us any harm, And we‟ll all hang on behind! And we’ll roll the old chariot along, We’ll roll the old chariot along, We’ll roll the old chariot along, And we’ll all hang on behind! And a little mug of beer wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a little mug of beer wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a little mug of beer wouldn‟t do us any harm, And we‟ll all hang on behind! [CHORUS] Well, a little slug of gin wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a little slug of gin wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a little slug of gin wouldn‟t do us any harm, And we‟ll all hang on behind! [CHORUS] Well, a night upon the shore wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a night upon the shore wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a night upon (A WHORE!) the shore wouldn‟t do us any harm, And we‟ll all hang on behind! [CHORUS] Well, a little dram of wine wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a little dram of wine wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a little dram of wine wouldn‟t do us any harm, And we‟ll all hang on behind! [CHORUS] And a drop of Nelson‟s Blood wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a drop of Nelson‟s Blood wouldn‟t do us any harm! Oh, a drop of Nelson‟s Blood wouldn‟t do us any harm, And we‟ll all hang on behind! [CHORUS]x2
6.
Cap'n's Keg 06:29
Well there’s a keg stored down below, What’s inside none of us know. And the captain will not say, It’s like a pirate holiday. It could be grog it could be wine, It could be mead, wouldn’t that be fine. There’s just one thing we know is true, That keg sure won’t give us a clue. It could be rye or port or ale, It could be rancid, could be stale. It could be rum it could be stout, There’s only one way to find out The captain had it brought aboard, Stolen from a ship where it was stored. And now the crew must speculate, ‘Til the captain says “Let’s celebrate!” The captain says no one below, So we wait on deck it’s quite a show. We thump and shake and sneak and hide, And try to guess just what’s inside. [CHORUS] And still that keg just sits below, While our excitement quickly grows. All that night he let us stew, Was it a scotch or a dark brew? The next morn he called us down, And said now boys come gather round. I think the time is finally here, Is it full of whiskey or is it beer. [CHORUS] But a tap we could not find, How could fate be so unkind? I’ve got an axe and I’ve a gun, Oh come on captain let’s have some fun. So steel shot flew and sabers bit, But that barrel it wouldn’t split. The gunner said “I’ll tap that cask, With just a single cannon’s blast.” [CHORUS] And to this day we don’t know why, But the captain said, give it a try. He missed the keg but breeched the hull, We plugged the leak with that barrel. The ship was fine and the keg held tight, But we had a miserable crew that night. We tarred it up so the ship’s leak free, But its contents remain a mystery. [CHORUS]
7.
Westering ho with a song in the air, Light of me eye and it's goodbye to care. Laughter and love are a welcoming there, Pride of me heart my own love. Tell me a tale of the orient gay, Tell me of riches that come from Cathay . Ah but it's grand to be waken at day, And find oneself nearer to Mylay. [CHORUS] Where are the folks like the folks of the west? Canty and Bouty and kinely, are best. There I would hie me, and there I would rest, At home with my own folks in Mylay. [CHORUS] Now I'm at home and at home I do lay, Dreaming of riches that come from Cathay. I'll hop a good ship and be on my way, And bring back my fortune to Mylay. [CHORUS] When I was a little lad, and so me mother told me. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. That if I did not kiss the girls, me lips would grow all moldy. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. Way haul away; we‟re bound for better weather. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. Once I knew an English girl, and she was fat and lazy. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. And then I met an Irish girl, she damn near drove me crazy! (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. Way haul away; we‟re bound for better weather. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. Saint Patrick was a gentleman, he came from decent people. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. He built a church in Dublin town and on it put a steeple. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. Way haul away; we‟re bound for better weather. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. King Louis was the king of France, before the rev-o-lu-shy-un! Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. And then he got his head chopped off, it spoiled his con-sti-tu-shy-un! Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe. Way haul away; this good ship now is rolling. (To Me!), Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe.
8.
Tell Whiplash Charlie Wills, Jack’s got a case of his favorite swill. Go and tell ole’ One-Eyed Pete, Grab his crew, it’s time to meet. Send out the pirate call, That it’s time for a drunken brawl. We’ll meet down by the docks, ‘Round about 9 o’clock. Black Jack Slim’s Cutthroat Inn, Is the dirtiest place I’ve ever been. He serves up liquor, grog and wine, A guarantee of a dirty ‘ol time! Those seven deadly sins are wicked for sure, Jacks’ got those, plus 11 more! Swagger on down to the Cutthroat Inn, And have a round with Black Jack Slim! Tell Annie and Calico Jack, That there’s gambling in the back. Tell Morgan when he hits the shore, There’ll be rum and girls galore. Tonight no one will get their sleep, When we’re on our midnight creep. Gonna smash out all the windows, Gonna kick down all the doors. [CHORUS] Tell Kidd that old sea dog, We got 100 gallons of grog. Tell Teach the Devil’s Son, We got a powder keg just for fun. He’ll break out his Blackport Rye, It burns like hell, but it gets you high! If you gotta sail, run, walk, or crawl, Get to Jack’s Pirate free-for-all! [CHORUS] When the Inn’s full, Jack will jump on out, Hop on the bar, and then he’ll shout: “It’s to Hell we go, for all our sins, So get in line behind Old Slim!” Then he’ll open up all the taps, Haul all the booze in from the back. We’ll drink and fight ‘till midnight, We’ll rant and roar ‘till daylight. [CHORUS] x2
9.
Uncloudy Day 02:47
Oh, they tell me of a home far beyond the skies They tell me of a home far away. Oh, they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise Oh, they tell me of an uncloudy day. Oh, the land of a cloudless day Oh, the land of an uncloudy day Oh, well they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise Oh, they tell me of an unclouded day Oh, they tell me of a home where my friends have gone They tell me of a home far away Where the tree of life in eternal blossom blooms Shares its fragrance through an uncloudy day [CHORUS] Oh, the land (The land of the cloudless day) Oh, the land (The land of the cloudless day) Oh, well they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise Oh, they tell me of an unclouded day (I said well...) Oh, they tell me of an uncloudy day Oh, they tell me of an uncloudy day
10.
Curvy Girls 04:45
I‘ve traveled all over and one thing I have found Skinny girls have nothing to wrap your arms around I‘ve been to every corner of this great big world And found there’s nothing better than a curvy, curvy girl Nothing can compare with the natural curves I love. Even when I’m sleeping it’s curvy girls I dream of Curvy girls are lovely curvy girls are great Curvy girls make me want to master…my own fate So if you are out there looking listen to these tips Find an ample bosom and some child bearing hips An hour glass figure with all the curves just right That’s the best thing in the world to keep you warm at night. [CHORUS] I know those waifish models are what they say are hot But what I am looking for those girls they just ain’t got I’ll stick with these curvy girls that give me so much joy And you can keep the models that look like pre-teen boys. [CHORUS] More than a handful’s wasted well I say that’s just bull For I have two good hands and they should both be full If you want my attention well here’s a sure bet All you need to do is flash me your curvy silhouette [CHORUS]
11.
Oh, a girl in every port Is the call of the sea. But a port in every girl Is why it’s a pirate’s life for me! For me, for me! As you can plainly see; A port in every girl, It’s a pirate’s life for me! At the tender age of 15 years I went unto the sea. And in the port of Dublin town, a maiden came to me. She took me by me mizenmast and led me far astray... And as far away as London town, it’s said you could hear me say... [CHORUS] At the tender age of 16 years I went unto the sea. And in the port of old Rangoon a Geisha came to me. She fed me rice and treat me nice, and down with her I lay... And as far away as London town, it’s said you could hear me say... [CHORUS] At the tender age of 17 years I went unto the sea. And in the port of old Marseille, a mamsel came to me. I dined on her puff pastries and showed her my éclair... And as far away as London town, it’s said you could hear me say... [CHORUS] At the tender age of 18 years I went unto the sea. And in the port of Napoli a senora came to me. I danced around her olive grove and she uncorked my wine... And as far away as London town, it’s said you could hear me say... [CHORUS] At the tender age of 19 years I went unto the sea. And in the port of Tripoli a harem came to me. I rode their magic carpet and they polished up my lamp... And as far away as London town, it’s said you could hear me say... [CHORUS] At the tender age of 20 years I went unto the sea. And in the port of old Melbourne a sheila came to me. She played with my boomerang and I jumped her kangaroo... And as far away as London town, it’s said you could hear me say... [CHORUS] At the ripe old age of 21 I came home from the sea. And in the port of London town the women came to me. They’d heard about my pillaging as I stepped off of the quay, And all throughout old London town it’s said you could hear me say... Oh, a girl in every port was my call to the sea. But port in every girl was far too much for me... [CHORUS]
12.
His name was Teach when he came to Carolina. Like a man possessed he scoured the sea, And the Devil called him son! <Blackbeard!> Teach; the demon on the sea! Run, you sailors, run! With a beard of flame and a heart of ice, Blackbeard, the Devil’s son! He shot his first mate in the hold one day, He said, “I don‟t give a damn!” If I don‟t kill someone now and then, You‟ll forget who I am! <Blackbeard!> He married a girl of fifteen years Named Liza. From across the town, they heard her screams, As he took her maidenhead! <Blackbeard!> [CHORUS] Governor Spotswood cried, “I‟ll rid the world Of Blackbeard!” One hundred pounds will buy his head, And Hell can have his soul! <Blackbeard!> From Portsmouth town there came a man Named Maynard. He did not come to save their lives, He came for bounty money! <Blackbeard!> [CHORUS] Teach met his fate off the shore Of Carolina. A challenge rang across the waves, “You‟ll dance with death today!” <Blackbeard!> Sabers bit, and bullets flew, As the ships drew side by side. Blackbeard screamed like a cannons‟ roar, “It‟s a damn good day to die!” <Blackbeard!> [CHORUS] An axe, a sword, a bullets burn, Blackbeard stood them all. He spat at his killers through broken teeth, “You‟ll never take me alive!” <Blackbeard!> Now Teach is gone, and the seas Are safe today. But down in Hell, the Devil‟s laughing, „Cause Blackbeard‟s‟ home to stay! <Blackbeard!> [CHORUS]
13.
The door blew open and Jack blew in He looked at the barkeep and said with a grin I must be going I really can’t stay So pour me a drink and I’ll be on my way Barkeep said … “What’ll it be?” I’ll have one whiskey, one porter, one rye And bring me some cider I’ll give that a try Bring me two rums, one buttered one cold And bring me a scotch at least 7 years old Then bring on the wine I’ll start with the Port And wash it all down with a beer of some sort The brandy and sherry some grog and some ale Some old mountain dew and a good howlin’ gale Mead, stout, vermouth and gin Vodka, bourbon, and a sly grin Moonshine, tequila, cognac and schnapps Some old sour mash and two belly flops Goldwasser, ouzo, white lightning, green toad Absinthe, sombuca, and one for the road! Jack drank it down and said that was great But I must be going before it’s too late Then his friends joined him and said sit back down If you must be going we’ll buy you a round Barkeep said … “What’ll it be?” [CHORUS] With all his friends passed out on the floor Still Jack’s bleary eyes were set on the door The barkeep he said “It’s early you see, So sit right back on down cause this one’s on me” So Jack said … “Ut’ll butt he?” [CHORUS] Two ladies entered Jack got to his feet He motioned them over and said have a seat Both the girls giggled, one gave him a wink And Jack with a smile said I’ll buy you a drink Barkeep said … “What do you want now?” [CHORUS] So Jack stood up and said “I must be off” The barkeep said “Now I don’t mean to scoff But you’re here nightly and never do go So what’s say we both have one for the road?” Barkeep said … “Oh, get it yourself!” [CHORUS] Barkeep said … “FASTER!” [CHORUS]
14.
15.
Cider 04:03

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No Refunds is a best-of album featuring the current line-up of The Jolly Rogers. Recorded live in front an audience of 500 people, No Refunds is a fast, fun way to get that live Jolly Rogers experience at home.

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released September 1, 2007

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The Jolly Rogers Kansas City, Missouri

Pirates before pirates were cool. The Jolly Rogers were born as the Earth still cooled, waaaay back in 1991. Bringing maritime music, sea shanties, drinking and bawdy songs to audiences before pirates were all the rage, they've been a main stage act at venues across America and Europe. ... more

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